The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She needs sedatives and a leash
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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