please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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