Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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