My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize