i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
