Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
