I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize