Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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