If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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