Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
