What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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