brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
