guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
