Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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