My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
