i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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