She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He felt like a one man threesome
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize