thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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