And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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