OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
