it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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