She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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