the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
