i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
