i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have peed in a lot of sinks
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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