I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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