I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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