Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
