Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
