I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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