Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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