She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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