What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
