So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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