Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
