you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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