kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
