Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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