How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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