I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
