Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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