Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
