I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's always time for handjobs
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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