i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
