Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
