I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
