Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
