guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
