I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
