Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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