Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
