No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
