they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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