we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
