"it" just moved
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
