I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
