It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize