i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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