I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize